* Unicow: a mutant mythical creature born when the overwhelming desire to draw a unicorn mates with an even stronger desire to avoid figuring out how to draw a horse. Revered in the middle ages as a symbol of laziness. Eats grass, poops rainbows and sparkles. Capable of flight, but at sub-unicorn speeds. Its legendary horn contains the power to heal sickness, end wars, and increase internet download speeds, but the docile animal is also commonly raised as livestock for its cereal flavored milk and happiness flavored hamburgers.
This originally appeared as a post for The Wheelhouse Review